クラフト・コーナー・デスマッチ Craft Corner Deathmatch

Craft or DIE, motherf*cker! This show is awesome.

I know, I know, I have lamented the dawn of the age of the "Xtreme _____" marketing before. Yes, it's ridiculous and full of crap. So is this show. The difference, however, is that the producers of "Craft Corner Deathmatch" are fully aware of this and, in fact, promote the show's inherent sillyness to the "XTREEEEEME!!!!", so to speak. Heh. Sorry.

The premise is simple, two amatuer crafters go head to head in two rounds of crafting to see who can craft the most craftiest craft in a given time liit. At the end of each round, they are judged by a panel of three crafty craft judges and then given a score. The craft contestent with the highest score gets to face off with the dreaded "Craft Lady of Steel", Jocelyn Worrall.

The element that makes this show great, however, and that rockets its stupid factor to insane levels, is the host, Jason Jones. This guy is friggin' hilarious. All throughout the show, this freak is running around doing jump kicks and screaming at the contestents to kill each other with crafts. He taunts them and relays commentary as if he's calling a fight for a hardcore pro-wrestling match. Phrases like "Craft 'till it hurts!" or "Remember, it's cheaper and easier just to buy stuff" really show that this program is a satorical farce that doesn't take itself seriously at all.

The parody is so sweet and intoxicating, I could snort it off a hooker's ass. The assistant, Amber, looks like an apathetic crack-whore. When you look at her profile, it says, Amber loves rainbows and unicorns". GOLD. Even the host's profile can't help poking fun at itself: "Jason is too busy acting to have any hobbies".

New episodes air every Thursday night at 9:00 pm on the Style Network, and there are repeats every now and then at various times. Check your local listings. For those of you in Honolulu who have Oceanic basic cable, Style is channel 65. Unfortunately, not all locations have the Style Network. I'm looking at you, Seattle (unless you have digital cable).

For other thoughts on the show, check out The Eye of Fitsights, I Shall Try Not to Fear the Telephone, news-journal online, TeeVee.org, and TheSimon.com.