Rent-A-Hamster

Kill it With Fire

2006-05-22T23:23:00.000-10:00

Well, that sure was a long hiatus. I see that there is a deluge of spam comments to welcome me back to this HTML/CSS non-compliant piece of crap that I left behind so long ago.

That being so, I had to nuke the template from orbit, since it was the only way to be sure. Now that I have a slighty better understanding of CSS, I think I'll be able to create a more pleasing redesign. Bumbai.

Resident Evil 4　バイオハザード４

2005-09-01T01:12:00.000-10:00

This thread on the Penny Arcade forums makes me want to play Resident Evil 4 all over again. They discuss the PS2 version of the game that's due out in Halloween, and in my opinion, it doesn't look as good as the Gamecube version. The new features ( new weapon, costumes, extended secret mission, etc.) are interesting, so that may warrant a rental, but I doubt I'll be buying it.

Ahh, Resident Evil 4. Now there's a game I wouldn't mind passing up sex for. One of the most enjoyable and satisfying games I've played in a long time, it made me crap my pants more than a grande meal from Taco Bell and a kick in the stomach. It made my Gamecube churn out visual ecstasy to accompany a superbly designed story that always flowed from one frantic moment to the next. As far as my experience went, Capcom pretty much produced what I lovingly refer to as a playable survival horror joygasm.

Even the sidegames were awesome. I remember the cry of happiness I squeaked out when I finished the Castle stage on Merc mode with a perfect chain. I wonder if I can do that again...perhaps I'll make a video later. It might be tough. I haven't played RE4, let alone any game in the past 3 months. What the hell is wrong with me???

Anyway, here's a pretty good comic about RE4 from the good folks at Penny Arcade: "Big Savings In Every Department"

Here's a similar one by VGcats: "Medicinal Herbs"

This one by Chugworth Academy is fucking hilarious. WARNING! Contains a huge spoiler about the ending of the game. You know what that means, don't you? Go out, buy a Gamecube + RE4, beat it, then read the comic: "#158: Resident Evil 4 Ending: Abridged"
Here another one by Chugworth: "#163: Ballistics"

50 Cent in "The Legend of Zelda: The Twilight Ho' and her Bling-Bling Triforce Pimp Daddy Drug Dealer Yo!"

2005-08-21T02:00:00.000-10:00

According to IMDB, 50 Cent is doing the voicework of Epona. 50 Cent. Fucking EPONA. But don't fret, I'm sure this is just a prank. If it were real, though, I'd thank Nintendo for raping my mind and then promptly jump into a volcano. I thought that only Eddie Murphy had the rights to do the voice-overs for four-legged beasts of burden.

(via Kotaku, who also credits the Gamebrink forums, who were also mentioned in a Gamespot article regarding rumors that Richard Simmons is doing the voice for Tingle in the same game. No, not that Richard Simmons.)

Sam Choy on "Iron Chef: America"

2005-08-21T00:03:00.000-10:00

Hey, local boy Sam Choy is on Iron Chef: America. I'll watch that! Let's hope he kicks Cat Cora's Ass.

UPDATE 1: I've been to his restaurants a couple times. If you see my flickr page, I actually took a photo of the one on Nimitz:

Like I say in the description: "Out on Nimitz, near Hilo Hatties. Nice place to go if you want overpriced food that tastes so-so."

Ooh, commercial's over, time to watch again.

UPDATE 2: Bruddah Choy's cooking up some chili water. Hmm...a staple condiment in the islands, but will it go over well with the judges?

Oh, by the way, the secret ingredient is clams. CLAMS. This should be interesting. Personally, I would have liked to see the secret ingredient be taro, but then again, that's just me. Actually, an even better secret ingredient would be kim chee, but that would pretty much guarantee that nobody's having sex that night. Hmm, that could possibly be why I'm a bit lacking in my romantic life. But I looooove kim chee soooooooooooo much....*sob sob sob*

UPDATE 3: Choy is making a bacon spinach white sauce and the commentator who is not the godly Alton Brown commented that it looks like a "luau sauce". What the fuck is he talking about???

UPDATE 4: The judges are kinda neat. First of all is that food critic from "Queer Eye", then we have Martin Yan from the infamous "Yan Can Cook" show of yore. Then we have some fat chick who no one knows about. You know she's gotta be a good food critic. I mean, look at her, the lady apparently loves food. And I mean that in both the literal and metaphorical sense. *shiver*

UPDATE 5: Wow, Sam's done with 5 minutes to spare. It looks like he kept his cuisine quite simple while Cora and her crew is still puttering away frantically. It seems Cora's mint foam is not holding together. Not very good consistency. She's gotta replate that. Ick, a melted blob of green. That's not good.

I've been thinking about that comment I made about hefty folks being better food critics, but then again, I shouldn't necessarily correlate girth with good taste in food. I mean, this girl's so fat, it looks like she probably just eats any person place or thing that gets caught in her treacherous gravitational field. I'm sorry. That was mean.

UPDATE 6: Time for the judging! Cora's dishes are very visually appealing. I bet she gets lots of points for plating and creativity. The judges are really digging her wares.

C'mon, Sammy, let's see what you got. Hawaiian Chili Pepper Shooter with Tomato Sauce. Hm, fat chick wants to spir it out because it's too hot. That's not good. I guess she won't eat anything that enters the vicinity of her gigantic maw. Okay, this girl has complained at least five times about how she always gets the chewy clams, and she can't eat them. What the hell. Just pretend that they're ice cream and that your boyfriend just dumped you.

UPDATE 7: Dammit, she's complaining again. The look on her face while she's eating Sam's "Clam Flan" is one of complete horror. She said that she feels like she's on "Fear Factor". Quit whining and stuff your face.

Who's gonna win???? Damn. Cora won. 51 to 45 points. It's all that fat lady's fault. I knew she was trouble.

"Joelogon's Foolproof Guide to Making Any Woman Your Platonic Friend"

2005-08-18T20:11:00.000-10:00

Joel has a guide on how to nurture and care for (i.e. achieve restraining-order-worthy obsessive behavior towards) the creature we men come know and love as the platonic friend-who-just-so-happens-to-be-a-girl. Check it out here.

Individual mileage may vary as interpretations of that essay's actual perceived hilarity is strongly dependent upon how much of the content dredges up real memories of humiliation and degradation at the hands of various women.

Personally, my reactions to the piece were equally divided between fits of laughter and uncontrollable weeping. I have seen this phenomenon among my fellow dorks many a time; it seems that we are quite prone to get caught up in the dreaded platonic circle of sexual frustration and doom.

As such, I feel it is my duty to travel the world, making all sorts of women fall in love with me only to reject their futile attempts and give them a taste of their own cruel medicine. On behalf of geeks everywhere, I will extract a vengeance more inappropriate than Miss Havisham remarking to Pip, "You know, son, every time you stare at Estalla, I can't help but notice your most obvious boner".

But seriously, though, I don't think I could do that. I like girls. They are essential to the survival of the human race. Besides, the results of scaring off all the chicks is just ending up with one big sausage party. No one likes a sausage party.

Edit: Note to all those who don't know who Miss Havisham is - Do yourself a favor and go read a book.

iPod Pr0n

2005-08-12T18:24:00.000-10:00

After using my Belkin Digital Camera Link, I couldn't help but think that it and the iPod look like they're copulating in an ecstatic ballet of port-to-port contact and sensual data transfer. Suddenly, a very naughty story popped into my overactive imagination, and I couldn't help but take pictures in order to supplement my story. Here's a photoset on flickr to illustrate. Start with the first pic.

Mantis Vs. Hummingbird

2005-08-11T14:08:00.000-10:00

Holy crap. See pics of a hummingbird getting pwned and eaten by a huge praying mantis.

I have read that hummingbirds had no natural enemies–so much for that theory!

(via Boing Boing)

Belkin Digital Camera Link for $30 Thanks CompUSA

2005-08-10T16:06:00.000-10:00

I recently purchased a Belkin Digital Camera Link for the iPod. This nifty device is used to directly connect one's iPod to a camera via USB and transfer pictures. This was the most cost effective method I have seen yet for a portable storage device, since I already have an iPod (err, my brother's iPod, ehehehe).

While normally retailing anywhere from $80-$100, I was able to snag it for the low low price of $30 by taking advantage of CompUSA's handy "price match" program, where they will match the price of any competing retailer.

The only place that offers the Belkin DCL for $30 is Apple's online store. However, the local Apple store located in Ala Moana did not have said product in stock. Furthermore, CompUSA does not price match products that are not available in a local store (i.e. online promotions are not recognized).

Luckily my smooth talking enabled me to persuade the cashier to give me the Belkin DCL for $30 anyway. First of all, I looked for the most newbie-ish cashier around. That way he would accept what I was saying without asking too many nosy questions. If there's one thing you can count on from n00bs, its that they won't ask too many questions if it will compromise their position of responsibility and make them look stupid. (note: It's one thing to be a n00b on the internet. It's another thing to be a n00b face-to-face with another human. Keep that in mind.)

Secondly, I opened up by inquiring about the price match, carefully noting that the Apple Store in Ala Moana has this product for $30 instead of $80, which was CompUSA's price. He responded that I needed some kind of proof, at which point I produced a print out of this page.

It was important that I started the conversation by suggesting that the product was in a local store, otherwise the cashier would have probably been more suspicious. It also helped that the online Apple Store and the retail Apple Store are so closely connected. Finally, it also helped that I conveniently neglected to mention that a $30 Belkin DCL was nowhere to be found on this island. Don't talk any more than you have to. You don't want to blow the whole operation just because you can't keep your big mouth shut.

Anyway, I haven't tested it out yet, but I will soon and then I will post the results. I also took some pictures of the DCL "interacting" with the iPod. You'll see what I mean later.

Shooting Net

2005-08-04T18:59:00.000-10:00

This looks like a lotta fun. It's a non-lethal weapon that shoots a giant net at your target. Would be fun to play pranks. I wonder how hard it would be to miss, because if you do, you're pretty much screwed against anyone wielding a real weapon. If you go to the company site, you'll see an animated gif demonstrating the hilarious power of this device.

(via engadget)

Argh

2005-08-04T18:51:00.000-10:00

Damn viruses, trojans, malware, spyware, adware, and dialers up the yin-yang on the other computer. I should tell my brother not to play so much poker online. This crap is a pain in the ass to get rid of.

NASA,, "eliminating people", and uh, sorry about the absence

2005-08-04T02:29:00.000-10:00

Watching C-SPAN at 2:30 in the morning. What fun. Keith Cowing, editor from Nasawatch is on Washngton Journal talking to a bunch of callers and discussing the future of NASA. A guy just called and complained about how if we "didn't waste so much money on funding a mission to Mars to discover life that doesn't exist", we could cure the problem of mental illness in America by providing care to all the crazies on the street.

As if NASA is the most deserving to have its funding cut, out of all the other government programs and agencies out there. Sheesh. What was funny though, was that the caller concluded his speech by saying that cutting funding for NASA would free up money to, and I quote, "eliminate the mentally ill". Haha, I didn't know his solution for mental illness was to murder them. See ya Forrest Gump, you're off to the gallows for being retarded!

(yes, I know it was a slip of the tongue)

By they way, I'm currently trying to redesign this site so it'll look cooler and won't have so many damn HTML errors in it. Sorry for the lack of updates (I know at least one person cared, thanks ^^). Maybe I'll try my hand at doing more smaller posts insteaed of less larger posts. Every single post doesn't have to be a fully documented and referenced essay, I guess.

変態な見出し　Perverted Headlines

2005-06-04T11:44:00.000-10:00

Are some in the mainstream media being run by a bunch of horny eight graders? The current cycle of news pertains in part to President Bush's selection to replace former SEC chair William Donaldson with California Congressman Cristopher Cox.

Even that blandly benign paragraph was able to illicit giggles in some of you out there. I wonder what the ever insightful CBS News offers up for its headline? "Bush Taps Rep. Cox For SEC Post". Hmmm. Could there BE anymore double entendres in there? Why yes, of course there could, thanks to our Canadian friends at the Globe and Mail: "New SEC head carries big stick". Bask in the sweet warm glow of all the dick and vagina puns you can handle.

You know, why not just forget the pretense and go balls out, so to speak. I want to see headlines like "Bush to Slowly Ease Cox Into Sticky Situation", or "Bush Excited as Cox Invites Stiff Opposition in the Senate", or "Hard-liner Cox Rubbed Raw by Bush's Soft Positions", or perhaps "Climax Comes Early as Cox Inserts Himself into Bush's New Cabinet Ahead of Schedule".

What a gold mine for the press. You would think they have had enough after the unmasking of Deep Throat. Hm, maybe not: "Bush Anxious to Learn More of Deep Throat".
More at Mediaocrity.

絵合　Picture Contest

2005-06-03T20:24:00.000-10:00

There's a contest going over on flickr to see who has the best photo that fits a theme, and the winner gets a free pro account that's worth $30. One of the themes I'm competing in is "Emergence". "Emergence" is a phenomenon where simple rules, interaction, patterns, etc. create complex systems. There is a group on flickr that is dedicated to photos that show this phenomenon and then explain the underlying principles that lead to the emergent behavior. Anyway, my photo entry into the competition has to do with the complex nature of bubbles and foam that arises from simple interactions. This photo is of a watery foam suspended in the air while a droplet of water forms at the bottom, ready to fall.

This photo is just part one of a set of bubble photos I took. Here are the rest:

Here is the emergent nature of bubbles and foam in a more detailed explanation:

The mysterious nature of bubbles and foam is an example of emergence on both molecular and macroscopic levels.

A typical bubble is formed by simple interactions between soap and water molecules that organize themselves to produce a spherical shape governed by the rules of minimal surfaces (note: a sphere is not actually a mathematically defined minimal surface because it does not have zero mean curvature. What I mean to say is that a sphere provides a maximum volume with a minimum surface area).

A soap molecule has a long structure that is composed of a polar, hydrophillic head and a non-polar, hydrophobic tail. When a soap and water bubble forms, the heads of the soap molecules are attracted to water and stay submerged in it. The tails of the soap molecules are repelled by the water and stick out into the air both inside and outside the bubble providing both structural stability and protection from evaporation. These simple interactions by soap and water on the microscopic level form what we see as a bubble in the macroscopic world. The tendency for nature to maximize the volume to surface area ratio produces a bubble's shape.

Millions of simple water molecules and complex soap molecules interact to form a simple sphere known as a bubble. When multiplied many times over, thousands of simple bubbles interact with each other to form a complex structure known as foam. Understanding how bubbles in foam arrange themselves in the most efficient packing order is a difficult and well documented problem. The concept of minimal surfaces arises again, but even the introduction of just one bubble (to make an interaction of two bubbles) complicates the situation many times over and is a striking example of Plateau's Problem. To put it simply, nature's most efficient packing structure emerges when the walls of the bubbles contact each other at 120 degree angles. To visualize this in two dimensions, imagine just one layer of bubbles side by side, and you will see a hexagonal pattern emerge. This is the same pattern that bees use in their honeycomb designs as it creates the strongest and largest cell using the least amount of wax and energy, stacked together in the most space-efficient design.

See the whole set of bubbly emergent pictures here: www.flickr.com/photos/rentahamster/sets/411459/

FFXIのポストをアップデート　FFXI Post Update

2005-05-31T16:36:00.000-10:00

For anyone who cares, I updated my post on the FFXI event for like the gazillionth time. It's got info on the official Square Enix write up, along with new video, and some new pictures of one of the mithra models when she's not in a Mithra outfit. (And I mean, when she's modeling bikinis, not when she's naked, you pervs).

FFXIイベントのポストをアップデートしました。もう何度もアップデートしてて、疲れてるんだね＾＾　コスプレをしてたミスラのモデルのビキニ写真も追加。

クラフト・コーナー・デスマッチ　Craft Corner Deathmatch

2005-05-29T12:52:00.000-10:00

Craft or DIE, motherf*cker! This show is awesome.

I know, I know, I have lamented the dawn of the age of the "Xtreme _____" marketing before. Yes, it's ridiculous and full of crap. So is this show. The difference, however, is that the producers of "Craft Corner Deathmatch" are fully aware of this and, in fact, promote the show's inherent sillyness to the "XTREEEEEME!!!!", so to speak. Heh. Sorry.

The premise is simple, two amatuer crafters go head to head in two rounds of crafting to see who can craft the most craftiest craft in a given time liit. At the end of each round, they are judged by a panel of three crafty craft judges and then given a score. The craft contestent with the highest score gets to face off with the dreaded "Craft Lady of Steel", Jocelyn Worrall.

The element that makes this show great, however, and that rockets its stupid factor to insane levels, is the host, Jason Jones. This guy is friggin' hilarious. All throughout the show, this freak is running around doing jump kicks and screaming at the contestents to kill each other with crafts. He taunts them and relays commentary as if he's calling a fight for a hardcore pro-wrestling match. Phrases like "Craft 'till it hurts!" or "Remember, it's cheaper and easier just to buy stuff" really show that this program is a satorical farce that doesn't take itself seriously at all.

The parody is so sweet and intoxicating, I could snort it off a hooker's ass. The assistant, Amber, looks like an apathetic crack-whore. When you look at her profile, it says, Amber loves rainbows and unicorns". GOLD. Even the host's profile can't help poking fun at itself: "Jason is too busy acting to have any hobbies".

New episodes air every Thursday night at 9:00 pm on the Style Network, and there are repeats every now and then at various times. Check your local listings. For those of you in Honolulu who have Oceanic basic cable, Style is channel 65. Unfortunately, not all locations have the Style Network. I'm looking at you, Seattle (unless you have digital cable).

For other thoughts on the show, check out The Eye of Fitsights, I Shall Try Not to Fear the Telephone, news-journal online, TeeVee.org, and TheSimon.com.

せグウェイ・ポロ　Segway Polo

2005-05-28T13:58:00.000-10:00

Here's a sport that athletically-challenged dorks can all rally behind: Segway Polo. I guess that it's the same as regular polo, but you substitute really expensive horses for really expensive Segways.

Is the Segway to the modern nerd like the Clydesdale was to the medieval knight? Stick a geek on a Segway, give him a +1 toy lightsaber, and he'd be unstoppable.

(via Christine, who seems to feel a little bad for calling those guys nerds. Well, I would too, but that's because I don't necessarily percieve "nerd" to be an insult. I like being called a nerd!; photo by JeffHartley)

Segwayでポロをやったことありますか？馬の代わりにSegwayを使って、すごい楽しそうじゃない？やってみないな。。。だって、Segwayって、チョウ高いから無理かな。（＾＾；）

UPDATE: Hmm, it seems that Segway polo has already been around for a while. Want in on the action? Join these guys.

カーニバル・オブ・ザ・ゲーマー　Carnival of the Gamers

2005-05-28T13:24:00.000-10:00

Thanks to buttonmashing.com, we now have our first ever Carnival of the Gamers. It is a collection of video game related posts that were submitted by various bloggers from around the internet. Go there to see what the lastest buzz is about your favorite pastime.

For those of you who don't know, a carnival is a collection of posts that revolve around some central theme. I had been looking for a video game related carnival to participate in ever since I started this blog, but having come up short, I decided to participate in the Carnival of the Vanities, a carnival with a general-interest theme.

Ever since then, I was thinking about starting a Carnival of the Gamers myself, but I had doubts because my site was (and still is) quite unknown. Oh well, too late now.

buttonmashing.comのおかげで最初の「カーニバル・オブ・ザ・ゲーマー」が始まりました。「カーニバル」というのは、あるテーマについてポストの集です。「カーニバル・オブ・ザ・ゲーマー」は情報とかゴシップとか色んなゲームに関係あることです。

エピソードIIIを待ち　Waiting For Episode III

2005-05-26T11:45:00.000-10:00

Well, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith is out, and the circle of George Lucas' grand mythical saga is complete. The Star Wars franchise holds a special place in many people's hearts, and as such has the potential to bring all kinds of geeks out of the woodwork for this once-in-a-lifetime event. As you all know, the premiere of Episode III was Thursday, May 19, but there were people camping out in front of Dole Cannery theater much earlier than that.

I decided to seek out my felllow geeks and see just how many people were camping, as well as what they were doing to bide the time. I arrived at the scene at around 11:30 pm, around 24 hours before the midnight premiere of the movie.

Earlier, I had passed by Ward theater and didn't see anyone camping out in front of the theater. For those of you who don't know, Ward theater is the most recently constructed theater in Oahu, and it is one of the nicest (and most expensive) on the island. Dole Cannery theater is the second newest theater, and also boasts an exceptional movie experience. Ward theater is in an area that is next to Ala Moana, and as such, it is surrounded by many trendy shopping areas, restaurants, and clubs. Dole Cannery, however, is closer to downtown and Chinatown, and the area immediately surrounding the theater is limited to industrial, ghetto, trash.

Now, the question I ask is, with whom would a brave band of geeks rather engage late at night? Well, let's compare the two very different forms of adversaries one might randomly enocunter while in each area.

WARD: As noted earlier, this area has a fairly active night life, and most of the creatures (whom I shall refer to as "Wardians") wandering around late in the evening are probably on some kind of arcane ritual known as a "date". This "date" is both frightening and intimidating to geeks. The Wardians' appearance is enhanced with fashionable clothes. They have finely groomed hair and a pleasant odor. In addition, the Wardians are usually accompanied by a kind of pet known as a "girl". Fearsome entities, a "girl" feeds off of "money" and "compliments" and appears to gain power like a leech by sucking the very life-force of its Waridan master. It has been well-documented that "girls" who have formed an extremely parasitic bond with their Wardian host eventually siphon off most of his life-energy, leaving a cold, hollow husk of a man who somehow has an affinity for shoe shopping and flower arrangement. It is unknown whether this pet is magically summoned or captured in the wild, but it is certain that they must emanate some kind of debilitating aura, as a geek's ability to speak and function properly is heavily diminished when in the presence of these frightening beings.

DOLE: The fauna surrounding Dole Cannery is quite scary indeed. They consist of bums, hobos, prostitutes, and various transients, roaming the streets for souls to eat. Many of the dangers these Doleians present are biological and chemical in nature for they have powerful passive attributes such as "herpes", "syphillis", and "crack-head". Unlike the Wardians, Doleians emanate a foul stech that could potentially slay even the most steadfast warrior.

Of course, the answer is simple. The geeks are much better equiped to battle the Doleians if need be. If bum rushed by a hoard of hobos, the geeks could quickly dispatch them with their +1 toy lightsabers and Red Bull powerups. The flashing colors and stange buzzing sounds are a great deterrent for tranny whores looking to steal something to pawn for crystal meth cash. However, these powerful weapons are no match for the cool and popular denizens of Ward. While it is true that the +1 toy lightsaber does give a 25% bonus to attack and +7 to evade, it also has a whopping -100 to self esteem, -75 to sex appeal, and an amazing -99% chance of being prom king. Accordingly, even though other legendary equipment sets like the Darth Vader Helmet of Cruelty plus the matching Stained Darth Vader Underwear of Purity may have resistences to attacks such as "bad breath" and "druken hobo scream", they are quite weak to the special attacks "noogie" and "atomic wedgie". Thus, the ultimate weakness of the "geek" job class is observed: humiliation by one's peers.

I also made a short clip documenting the Star Wars geeks as they roamed among their makeshift camp. You can see it here: www.ourmedia.org If you click on that link, the video will stream while embedded in your browser. If that method is fairly choppy and unwatchable, you are probably better off saving the video directly to your hard drive by accessing the direct link.
Direct link here (right-click, save as)

まだ生きてるよ　I'm Still Alive

2005-05-26T11:33:00.000-10:00

Hello everyone, sorry I've been MIA for so long. There were a few things I had to take care of, but now I'm free to post a bunch of stuff that I've been wanting to post for a while now.

只今＾＾；
長い間、ポストしなくてごっめん。色々用があって、ポストする時間はあまりなかったんです。

ハワイでファイナルファンタジーXIのイベント　Final Fantasy XI Event In Hawaii

2005-05-05T23:00:00.000-10:00

Last week Saturday I went to Pearlridge Shopping Center to meet my friend who was visiting from Osaka and to show him around. I heard something about a Final Fantasy XI event being held in the area, so I decided to take a look since I was there anyway. It was hosted at a local computer game store, PC GAMERZ. Here are some of the highlights.

The picture on the left has a listing of the bosses and prizes included in the BOSS BATTLE BASH. In this contest, players team up to kill a boss. Survive, and get a prize. Eat shit, and receive ridicule from your fellow geeks. On the right, you can see a row of computers set up for various displays.

Wow, females in a sea of dorks! Salvation is at hand! The girls in the left picture controlled the reception desk and were very friendly. I talked to these gamer girls in awe, as if bearing witness to some mysterious, mythical creatures that have eluded my grasp for ages. What is this "gamer girl" you speak of? I know not of what you say, for until now I have heard nothing but fantastic legends of awesomeness.

Such as this, this impossible photo. This girl, this manifestation of all that is good in the world; she is not real, she cannot be! A cruel trick designed to tempt my soul and give my hopes false strength. A feeble mind such as mine own cannot comprehend the scope of such magnificence and immediately deems it fake. A clever Photoshop, perhaps, the original photo being nothing more than a Walkman, three avocados, and a lampshade. The possibility of this photo's authenticity warms my trembling heart down to its soft and chewy core, yet alack! No, no, 'tis too good, too holy, too grand to be real. My world is torn asunder. The Princess is in another castle... /despair....

*ahem*

Anyway,

Here we see some of the Square Enix employees. The left picture is some guy. I forgot who he is. But that's not important. Take a look at the right picture. Here we see the developer chat that took place. From left to right: The MC, Yasu Kurosawa (North American Online Producer), Ken Tanaka (Assistant Manager of Online Community Relations), Haggan (ffxi.allakhazam.com Administrator), and Pikko (ffxi.allakhazam.com Administrator). They did a question and answer segment along with the developers of FFXI in Japan via video conference. Translation took a while, and I don't think the Japanese developers understood some of the questions 100%. For example, the questions about real money trading and the abuse of packet sniffing programs kinda resulted in lousy "I don't know what you are trying to say so I'll just give you a lame non-answer" answers. Other than that, however, the chat was quite entertaining. It was funny because the MC kept making mistakes regarding Pikko's name. Her sign says "Pikko Pots" and the MC kept referring to her as "Pots" who comes from someplace called "Pikko". Give the guy a break, though. It was a 12 hour event.

(UPDATE: Oh, I see what's the deal with the whole "pots" thing. There is a someplace called "Pikko Pots" that she runs. It's about gardening in your Mog house. It looks very interesting. I dabbled in gardening myself for a while, but it was rather hit and miss for me. I didn't really understand how it worked, and I didn't feel it was worth my time to look up all the kanji I didn't know just to learn how to make pretty plants. Looking through the site, I see that gardening is actually pretty cool. Thanks Pikko!)

Actually, Haggan from Allakhazam has a good summary of the event along with some nice pictures. Check 'em out. You can kinda see me in this picture:

Models cosplaying as Mithras (playable characters from the game) were also present to entertain us and pose for photos. On the right, we see another contest, known as the "Tarutaru Cure Marathon". A bunch of tarus run through Misareaux Coast and then get PWNED by the wildlife. The first one to cast cure on a character placed somewhere on the map gets first place. Many cheers were heard as taru upon taru got aggroed and met their untimely demises. I have to say, however, that the cameramen sucked and at one point they lost track of all the tarus. ALL of them. Sheesh. (UPDATE: Oh yeah, apparently one of them DIED, too. Somehow the camera guy got aggroed and was killed. Much laughter was had by all in attendance.)

Haggan has better pictures of the Mithras here:

On the left we have the grand prize for the raffle contest, a custom built FFXI PC. That baby has stuff like a P4 3.4GHz CPU, 1GB of RAM, a GeForce 6800 Ultra, and a 160GB Hard Drive. Unfortunately, I did not win it.

I did get a free mousepad. I also got it signed by Yasu Kurosawa! When I asked Yasu for the autograph, I spoke to him in Japanese, and he seemed really surprised. A second later, he remarked that a lot of people in Hawaii can speak Japanese. Generally speaking, that's true. Due to the large numbers of Japanese-Americans as well as the large numbers of Japanese tourists, many people in Hawaii are at least casually familiar with the Japanese language. Many Asian languages and cultures have integrated themselves into local Hawaiian culture, as well as made a significant impact on our local creole dialect. But that's another post for another time.

What's left? Hmm, ah yes. During the course of the event, there was a contest to see who could imitate the tarutaru's /panic action the best. Here's video of one guy doing /joy, and then there's video of this guy doing /panic. I commend both for their valor, but in the end there can only be one. The first guy won.

UPDATE: Hey look, an online article in the Star Bulletin about the event: http://starbulletin.com/2005/04/28/features/story1.html

SECOND UPDATE: I just found the blog of the guy who won the custom PC in the raffle. He chalks his win up to the power of karma. Go here: Life of a Tarutaru

Also, I wonder if there have been a lot of people running away from FFXI and heading off to World of Warcraft or something. Perhaps Squeenix feels threatened and needs to implement that Return Home to Vanadiel program. When I was talking to Ken Tanaka for a bit, I mentioned to him that I had canceled my account a couple months back, as you can see here. He then tried to get me to come back by listing the cool features of the Return Home campaign.

I said that I wasn't planning on coming back anytime soon, if at all, but what would interest me is if I had the ability to purchase my own Chocobo. The idea of mounts from World of Warcraft sounds really cool to me, and ever since I was a high enough level to get my Chocobo license years ago, I had always pined to own a Chocobo myself. I love the idea of not having to pay a vendor each time I need to ride. I love the idea of not having a timer on my ride. I love the idea of calling my Chocobo from anywhere in the world (within reasonable bounds, of course). I mean, look at Guild Wars. You can teleport back to town whenever you feel like it.

I want to own Chocobos. I want to hunt for wild Chocobos. I want to breed them, raise them, sell them, and race them. I want to enter my prize Chocobo "Choco-Hamster" into the Jeuno Derby, bet all my gil on him, and then cry like a baby when he comes in last place! I want to accessorize my Chocobos with sunglasses and cute hats and then play with them in my Chocobo barn. I want to enter them into frisbee catching contests and Chocobo shows. Err, wait, no, that's Nintendogs. I guess I miss the fun of Chocobo rearing Final Fantasy VII style. Now THAT was great! Inbreeding your Chocobos until a genetic freak appeared (i.e. the Gold Chocobo) was never so much fun.

I feel that the whole concept of Chocobos, especially considering their strong connection with the Final Fantasy brand in general, is very underutilzed in the current game world. I mean, when one's not leveling up or completing missions, what's there to do? Craft? Fish? Item farm? Garden? Camp NMs/HNMs (boring!) ? Not enough, I say! Bring on the Choco-derby gambling! It'll attract a whole new niche of gamers. The possibilities boggle the mind.

Judging by Ken's response, however, I doubt we'll be seeing any of those features.

THIRD UPDATE: Here's another shot of Yasu:

Also, here are a few more reports about the event.

I can't believe I missed this one: In addition to Haggan's write-up, Pikko did one as well. I linked to Haggan's report earlier in the post, but for some reason I forgot to put a link to Pikko's as well. Here is her report: Pikko's write-up

She also has a bunch of pictures that you can check out here. I found myself in one of them. One interesting item is this picture regarding a Boss Battle Bash team that won. I didn't see them myself, but I hear that it was a team of only white mages who fought Time Bomb. They simply cast reraise on themselves, and when Time Bomb asploded himself, everyone came back to life and won. Har.

In addition, we have this report on Livejournal by Jaysensen. There are a few new pics, including this sneaky photo of the Mithra models' butts.

FOURTH UPDATE: Another obvious place for pics and commentary regarding the event would be from the website of the place that hosted the event, PC GAMERZ. They have a lot of photos from the setup of the event, among others, located in their photo gallery. Enjoy more snapshots of cute girls at gaming events!

I have to say that PC GAMERZ is by far one of the nicest places I've seen to get on a LAN and get your game on. This place is much more than just an internet cafe. They have regular gaming events and a fully loaded snackbar to fuel you through your day-long click fest. Furthermore, the price can't be beat. Most other game centers and internet cafes charge $5 an hour to use their crappy PCs, but at PC GAMERZ walk in guests get access for $4/hour while members ($25 membership fee) are charged $3/hour.

What catches my eye, however, is their offer to build custom PCs for those who ask. The info on ordering custom built PCs can be found by clicking on the "Stuff" link at the top of their main site. The prepackaged systems optimized for value and performance seem like a good deal, and if you want, you could opt to inject more bad-assery into the rig. I wonder if they come with any warranties or customer support...hmm. It would be nice to support a local company the next time I get a new PC.

FIFTH UPDATE: I found another blog that has a write-up with pictures. It is brought to us courtesy of ZodiacBrave on Livejournal. The direct link to her report is here, but if it's a little hard to read, you can check it out from the main page here. Chances are, it'll still be the first post. Also, for your information, there is background music on the site, so if you don't want your speakers going off, be sure to turn 'em down. (UPDATE: Actually, just go here. It's easier to read and it has more comments from other people.)

I see that she is a member of the group that hangs out in the lounge at the University of Hawaii. Heh, heh, that's where all the geeks go to hang out. My kind of people! I go there sometimes myself, when I'm tutoring the cute Japanese girls who are learning English :)

Click here to go to the main page and see the rest of the posts.

SIXTH UPDATE (5/31) : OK, this should be the last one. Square-Enix has put up their own write-up about the event, and you can check it out here: http://na.square-enix.com/events/ffxi/tour2005/aiea/index.html

They also made a short video of the event where you can see a lot of the activities that took place. It is here:

http://na.square-enix.com/events/ffxi/tour2005/aiea/movies/ffxi_hawaii2005.wmv

Also, there are some other write-ups I missed that had been posted on the Allakhazam forums: http://ffxi.allakhazam.com/forum.html?forum=10&mid=111494297020702865&num=39

For those of you who are interested in this mithra model, here are a couple links to some of her pictures:

Patrick Talent Agency Profile

Midweek 2005 Swimsuit Issue

I couldn't find any info on the other models, but it doesn't really matter because the one pictured here is the hottest one anyway :)

Click here to go to the main page and see the rest of the posts.

携帯ハンドセット　Cell Phone Handset

2005-05-05T21:18:00.000-10:00

I want this.

Heheh this thing is awesome. The Phobile, as it is called, has the potential to be quite the conversation starter. Distributed by Firebox, they are quite right when they say that "this highly evocative hunk of shiny retro-ironic plastic" will make you "the envy/laughing stock of all those who encounter you", and that "attaching an old-school handset to a modern mobile is a bit like tying a typewriter to a laptop". Hey I do that. Come to think of it, I kick it old-school in all sorts of bad ass ways. For example, I glued my remote control to my television! I set up a hibachi in my oven! I filled my toilet with dirt, dug a hole, and crapped in it! As you can see, the Phobile would be perfect for me. Here's a link to a review. (via Gizmodo)

Firebox が売ってる品物の中ではは、このPhobileがいいでしょ。バカにされるように使うんだろうか。ラップトップにタイプライターを繋げる人には特に有用かな？ほしいなぁ。

２ｃｈの単語　The Vocabulary of 2ch

2005-05-03T22:13:00.000-10:00

Jonnyram has an interesting post on his Livejournal page about slang on the 2ch BBS that would be a bit confusing to anyone not familiar with the 2ch community.

Jonnyram は２ｃｈのスラングを説明しました。日本語が良く分からない人にはとても有用ですね。あのスラングは辞書に載ってないから意味がわかりずらいな。

He writes:

For some reason, message boards always develop their own slang vocabulary, and 2ch is no exception. Here's a few of the recent ones I've come to grips with:

妊娠 (ninshin)
It usually means pregnant, but in this case it means Nintendo fanboy. It is derived from 任天堂信者 (Nintendo shinja), which means devotee of Nintendo.

出川 (degawa)
This means Sony fanboy. Not sure of the derivation, but it may come from a famous comedian who is always getting put down by his colleages.

GK
Short for Gate Keeper, this has come to mean Sony employee. Again, not sure of the derivation, but it may be because of Sony's precarious situation at the moment.

Understanding of just these three terms makes browsing ghard a totally different experience!

Read the comments to see what others have to say about the origins of some of the terms outlined above.

By the way, he is also one of the contributers to the Puppy Times, if you hadn't already noticed.

告白集 A Collection Of Confessions

2005-04-29T23:32:00.000-10:00

The website www.grouphug.us is gold. Pure gold. If you don't know already, it is an archive of various confessions from people who seek to anonymously reveal their deepest personal secrets to the millions of curious denizens lurking in the internet. Reading through these confessions will make you laugh, cry, or feel a little sick. However, the feelings that come through in the end are something like, "Holy shit these people are screwed up", or "Wow, I guess my life is not so bad afterall". Let's take a look at the front page and see what pops up...

www.grouphug.usはすごい面白いんですよ。無名な人の告白の収集のウェブサイトです。胸が重いときとか、不安でたまらないときに無名にコンフェッションしたら安心と感じると言える。僕は、あのサイトを読むと「まあぁ、僕の人生は思ったほど悪くないなぁ」と思います。他人の痛みで笑いこんじゃう。わりいいな。＾＾

Confession 724873023:

I think the hottest thing is Oprah covered in butter

My imagination cries tears of pain.

Confession 69671496:

I bought an N-Gage. I'm so ashamed.

You should be.

Confession 195516350:

I'm in love with a girl on the message board I frequent, and sometimes I rub my penis across the keyboard whenever she postsasdfghjkl

Mmmm, penis love through keyboard proxy. "asdfghjkl" is a fairly decent keyboard penis mark. The best I can ever do is "btg". It's cold in here.

Confession:86195278:

I like to breathe into the mic when I play Xbox Live.

That fucker.

Confession:174460748:

When I was 12, I had a cockateil named Charlie. I liked to hold Charlie. I also liked to sleep. The two didnt mix well together. I fell asleep holding poor Charlie and rolled over on him. He didnt survive.

Bwahahahahaha! Poor poor Charlie.

This next one is a classic.

Confession:197333984:

i yelled out "mortal kombat!!!!" in a packed movie theater during a very emotional scene in matrix revolution. it was the part when trinity was dying and neo was heart broken. i was a little drunk, but i still find it hysterical that i shouted such an inappropriate comment. i also told the lady next ot me that neo is a stupid nigger, which doesnt even make any sense.

We have a winner!

Rikai.comでポストを翻訳 Translate Posts Via Rikai.com

2005-04-28T17:57:00.000-10:00

I added a new feature that will help you to read this blog. At the bottom of each post is an orange link that you can click to make the Japanese easier to read, particularly the kanji. This assumes that you already have a general understanding of Japanese, and that one of the biggest obstacles in your ability to read Japanese text is your limited knowledge of kanji. Clicking of the link will process the post through www.rikai.com. After that, when you hover your mouse over a certain kanji or kanji compound, the reading and the translation will pop up.

For Japanese people, I added a link that will put popups on every English word and give its Japanese equivalent. But if you are reading this paragraph, then you probably don't need that feature, do you?

新しいフィーチャー追加！このページの英語を分かるため、www.rikai.comの英和訳ツールを使っています。ポストの下のところのオレンジ色のリンクをクリックすると、そのポストの英語の言葉が分かりやすくなります。マウスポインターで英語の言葉にハバーすると日本語の意味がポップアップで出てきます。

単語の和訳だけだから、もし英語の文法とか文章の構造とか全然理解できなかったら、あまり助からないと思いますよ。「このポストの英語の言葉が分かるようにクリック」というリンクの左に和英訳ツールもあります。漢字の読み方の手伝いです。でも、この文を読んでいるのなら、そのリンクをクリックしては必要ないでしょうね。＾＾

SEGA Fantasy VI　インターナショナル (International)

2005-04-27T01:19:00.000-10:00

Check out this Flash animation by sikamako. It parodies/pays tribute to Final Fantasy VI as it tells the story of the evil PSP that tries to destroy the world and the rag-tag band of game consoles that stopped it (Yes I know that sounds ridiculous). Obviously, it contains lots of spoilers regarding FFVI, so if you haven't played it yet, go play it, then watch the animation.

If you can catch all the FFVI allusions, much less recognize all the old game systems that make an appearance, congratulations. You must truly be some kind of geek demi-god. As for me, I got teary eyed in a few places as wave upon wave of nostalgia broke upon my heart. Please don't tease me :)

sikamako が作ったフラッシュを見てみて。ファイナルファンタジーVIのようなスタイルで世界を滅ぼすPSPについて話です。メッチャおもしろいんだよ。懐かしいし、FFVIのことをよく思い出すのだ。このフラッシュを見ながら、赤ちゃんみたいに泣いてたレンタハムスターは感動しました。ファイナルファンタジーに愛するとコクる（笑。 (via Penny Arcade and Game Girl Advance)

Rent-A-Hamster

Kill it With Fire

Resident Evil 4 バイオハザード４

50 Cent in "The Legend of Zelda: The Twilight Ho' and her Bling-Bling Triforce Pimp Daddy Drug Dealer Yo!"

Sam Choy on "Iron Chef: America"

"Joelogon's Foolproof Guide to Making Any Woman Your Platonic Friend"

iPod Pr0n

Mantis Vs. Hummingbird

Belkin Digital Camera Link for $30 Thanks CompUSA

Shooting Net

Argh

NASA,, "eliminating people", and uh, sorry about the absence

変態な見出し Perverted Headlines

絵合 Picture Contest

FFXIのポストをアップデート FFXI Post Update

クラフト・コーナー・デスマッチ Craft Corner Deathmatch

せグウェイ・ポロ Segway Polo

カーニバル・オブ・ザ・ゲーマー Carnival of the Gamers

エピソードIIIを待ち Waiting For Episode III

まだ生きてるよ I'm Still Alive

ハワイでファイナルファンタジーXIのイベント Final Fantasy XI Event In Hawaii

携帯ハンドセット Cell Phone Handset

２ｃｈの単語 The Vocabulary of 2ch