Kill it With Fire

Well, that sure was a long hiatus. I see that there is a deluge of spam comments to welcome me back to this HTML/CSS non-compliant piece of crap that I left behind so long ago.

That being so, I had to nuke the template from orbit, since it was the only way to be sure. Now that I have a slighty better understanding of CSS, I think I'll be able to create a more pleasing redesign. Bumbai.

Resident Evil 4 バイオハザード４

This thread on the Penny Arcade forums makes me want to play Resident Evil 4 all over again. They discuss the PS2 version of the game that's due out in Halloween, and in my opinion, it doesn't look as good as the Gamecube version. The new features ( new weapon, costumes, extended secret mission, etc.) are interesting, so that may warrant a rental, but I doubt I'll be buying it.

Ahh, Resident Evil 4. Now there's a game I wouldn't mind passing up sex for. One of the most enjoyable and satisfying games I've played in a long time, it made me crap my pants more than a grande meal from Taco Bell and a kick in the stomach. It made my Gamecube churn out visual ecstasy to accompany a superbly designed story that always flowed from one frantic moment to the next. As far as my experience went, Capcom pretty much produced what I lovingly refer to as a playable survival horror joygasm.

Even the sidegames were awesome. I remember the cry of happiness I squeaked out when I finished the Castle stage on Merc mode with a perfect chain. I wonder if I can do that again...perhaps I'll make a video later. It might be tough. I haven't played RE4, let alone any game in the past 3 months. What the hell is wrong with me???

Anyway, here's a pretty good comic about RE4 from the good folks at Penny Arcade: "Big Savings In Every Department"

Here's a similar one by VGcats: "Medicinal Herbs"

This one by Chugworth Academy is fucking hilarious. WARNING! Contains a huge spoiler about the ending of the game. You know what that means, don't you? Go out, buy a Gamecube + RE4, beat it, then read the comic: "#158: Resident Evil 4 Ending: Abridged"
Here another one by Chugworth: "#163: Ballistics"

50 Cent in "The Legend of Zelda: The Twilight Ho' and her Bling-Bling Triforce Pimp Daddy Drug Dealer Yo!"

According to IMDB, 50 Cent is doing the voicework of Epona. 50 Cent. Fucking EPONA. But don't fret, I'm sure this is just a prank. If it were real, though, I'd thank Nintendo for raping my mind and then promptly jump into a volcano. I thought that only Eddie Murphy had the rights to do the voice-overs for four-legged beasts of burden.

(via Kotaku, who also credits the Gamebrink forums, who were also mentioned in a Gamespot article regarding rumors that Richard Simmons is doing the voice for Tingle in the same game. No, not that Richard Simmons.)

Sam Choy on "Iron Chef: America"

Hey, local boy Sam Choy is on Iron Chef: America. I'll watch that! Let's hope he kicks Cat Cora's Ass.

UPDATE 1: I've been to his restaurants a couple times. If you see my flickr page, I actually took a photo of the one on Nimitz:



Like I say in the description: "Out on Nimitz, near Hilo Hatties. Nice place to go if you want overpriced food that tastes so-so."

Ooh, commercial's over, time to watch again.

UPDATE 2: Bruddah Choy's cooking up some chili water. Hmm...a staple condiment in the islands, but will it go over well with the judges?

Oh, by the way, the secret ingredient is clams. CLAMS. This should be interesting. Personally, I would have liked to see the secret ingredient be taro, but then again, that's just me. Actually, an even better secret ingredient would be kim chee, but that would pretty much guarantee that nobody's having sex that night. Hmm, that could possibly be why I'm a bit lacking in my romantic life. But I looooove kim chee soooooooooooo much....*sob sob sob*

UPDATE 3: Choy is making a bacon spinach white sauce and the commentator who is not the godly Alton Brown commented that it looks like a "luau sauce". What the fuck is he talking about???

UPDATE 4: The judges are kinda neat. First of all is that food critic from "Queer Eye", then we have Martin Yan from the infamous "Yan Can Cook" show of yore. Then we have some fat chick who no one knows about. You know she's gotta be a good food critic. I mean, look at her, the lady apparently loves food. And I mean that in both the literal and metaphorical sense. *shiver*

UPDATE 5: Wow, Sam's done with 5 minutes to spare. It looks like he kept his cuisine quite simple while Cora and her crew is still puttering away frantically. It seems Cora's mint foam is not holding together. Not very good consistency. She's gotta replate that. Ick, a melted blob of green. That's not good.

I've been thinking about that comment I made about hefty folks being better food critics, but then again, I shouldn't necessarily correlate girth with good taste in food. I mean, this girl's so fat, it looks like she probably just eats any person place or thing that gets caught in her treacherous gravitational field. I'm sorry. That was mean.

UPDATE 6: Time for the judging! Cora's dishes are very visually appealing. I bet she gets lots of points for plating and creativity. The judges are really digging her wares.

C'mon, Sammy, let's see what you got. Hawaiian Chili Pepper Shooter with Tomato Sauce. Hm, fat chick wants to spir it out because it's too hot. That's not good. I guess she won't eat anything that enters the vicinity of her gigantic maw. Okay, this girl has complained at least five times about how she always gets the chewy clams, and she can't eat them. What the hell. Just pretend that they're ice cream and that your boyfriend just dumped you.

UPDATE 7: Dammit, she's complaining again. The look on her face while she's eating Sam's "Clam Flan" is one of complete horror. She said that she feels like she's on "Fear Factor". Quit whining and stuff your face.

Who's gonna win???? Damn. Cora won. 51 to 45 points. It's all that fat lady's fault. I knew she was trouble.

"Joelogon's Foolproof Guide to Making Any Woman Your Platonic Friend"

Joel has a guide on how to nurture and care for (i.e. achieve restraining-order-worthy obsessive behavior towards) the creature we men come know and love as the platonic friend-who-just-so-happens-to-be-a-girl. Check it out here.

Individual mileage may vary as interpretations of that essay's actual perceived hilarity is strongly dependent upon how much of the content dredges up real memories of humiliation and degradation at the hands of various women.

Personally, my reactions to the piece were equally divided between fits of laughter and uncontrollable weeping. I have seen this phenomenon among my fellow dorks many a time; it seems that we are quite prone to get caught up in the dreaded platonic circle of sexual frustration and doom.

As such, I feel it is my duty to travel the world, making all sorts of women fall in love with me only to reject their futile attempts and give them a taste of their own cruel medicine. On behalf of geeks everywhere, I will extract a vengeance more inappropriate than Miss Havisham remarking to Pip, "You know, son, every time you stare at Estalla, I can't help but notice your most obvious boner".

But seriously, though, I don't think I could do that. I like girls. They are essential to the survival of the human race. Besides, the results of scaring off all the chicks is just ending up with one big sausage party. No one likes a sausage party.

Edit: Note to all those who don't know who Miss Havisham is - Do yourself a favor and go read a book.

iPod Pr0n

After using my Belkin Digital Camera Link, I couldn't help but think that it and the iPod look like they're copulating in an ecstatic ballet of port-to-port contact and sensual data transfer. Suddenly, a very naughty story popped into my overactive imagination, and I couldn't help but take pictures in order to supplement my story. Here's a photoset on flickr to illustrate. Start with the first pic.

Mantis Vs. Hummingbird

Holy crap. See pics of a hummingbird getting pwned and eaten by a huge praying mantis.

I have read that hummingbirds had no natural enemies–so much for that theory!

(via Boing Boing)

Belkin Digital Camera Link for $30 Thanks CompUSA

I recently purchased a Belkin Digital Camera Link for the iPod. This nifty device is used to directly connect one's iPod to a camera via USB and transfer pictures. This was the most cost effective method I have seen yet for a portable storage device, since I already have an iPod (err, my brother's iPod, ehehehe).

While normally retailing anywhere from $80-$100, I was able to snag it for the low low price of $30 by taking advantage of CompUSA's handy "price match" program, where they will match the price of any competing retailer.

The only place that offers the Belkin DCL for $30 is Apple's online store. However, the local Apple store located in Ala Moana did not have said product in stock. Furthermore, CompUSA does not price match products that are not available in a local store (i.e. online promotions are not recognized).

Luckily my smooth talking enabled me to persuade the cashier to give me the Belkin DCL for $30 anyway. First of all, I looked for the most newbie-ish cashier around. That way he would accept what I was saying without asking too many nosy questions. If there's one thing you can count on from n00bs, its that they won't ask too many questions if it will compromise their position of responsibility and make them look stupid. (note: It's one thing to be a n00b on the internet. It's another thing to be a n00b face-to-face with another human. Keep that in mind.)

Secondly, I opened up by inquiring about the price match, carefully noting that the Apple Store in Ala Moana has this product for $30 instead of $80, which was CompUSA's price. He responded that I needed some kind of proof, at which point I produced a print out of this page.

It was important that I started the conversation by suggesting that the product was in a local store, otherwise the cashier would have probably been more suspicious. It also helped that the online Apple Store and the retail Apple Store are so closely connected. Finally, it also helped that I conveniently neglected to mention that a $30 Belkin DCL was nowhere to be found on this island. Don't talk any more than you have to. You don't want to blow the whole operation just because you can't keep your big mouth shut.

Anyway, I haven't tested it out yet, but I will soon and then I will post the results. I also took some pictures of the DCL "interacting" with the iPod. You'll see what I mean later.

Shooting Net

This looks like a lotta fun. It's a non-lethal weapon that shoots a giant net at your target. Would be fun to play pranks. I wonder how hard it would be to miss, because if you do, you're pretty much screwed against anyone wielding a real weapon. If you go to the company site, you'll see an animated gif demonstrating the hilarious power of this device.

(via engadget)

Argh

Damn viruses, trojans, malware, spyware, adware, and dialers up the yin-yang on the other computer. I should tell my brother not to play so much poker online. This crap is a pain in the ass to get rid of.

NASA,, "eliminating people", and uh, sorry about the absence

Watching C-SPAN at 2:30 in the morning. What fun. Keith Cowing, editor from Nasawatch is on Washngton Journal talking to a bunch of callers and discussing the future of NASA. A guy just called and complained about how if we "didn't waste so much money on funding a mission to Mars to discover life that doesn't exist", we could cure the problem of mental illness in America by providing care to all the crazies on the street.

As if NASA is the most deserving to have its funding cut, out of all the other government programs and agencies out there. Sheesh. What was funny though, was that the caller concluded his speech by saying that cutting funding for NASA would free up money to, and I quote, "eliminate the mentally ill". Haha, I didn't know his solution for mental illness was to murder them. See ya Forrest Gump, you're off to the gallows for being retarded!

(yes, I know it was a slip of the tongue)

By they way, I'm currently trying to redesign this site so it'll look cooler and won't have so many damn HTML errors in it. Sorry for the lack of updates (I know at least one person cared, thanks ^^). Maybe I'll try my hand at doing more smaller posts insteaed of less larger posts. Every single post doesn't have to be a fully documented and referenced essay, I guess.

変態な見出し Perverted Headlines

Are some in the mainstream media being run by a bunch of horny eight graders? The current cycle of news pertains in part to President Bush's selection to replace former SEC chair William Donaldson with California Congressman Cristopher Cox.

Even that blandly benign paragraph was able to illicit giggles in some of you out there. I wonder what the ever insightful CBS News offers up for its headline? "Bush Taps Rep. Cox For SEC Post". Hmmm. Could there BE anymore double entendres in there? Why yes, of course there could, thanks to our Canadian friends at the Globe and Mail: "New SEC head carries big stick". Bask in the sweet warm glow of all the dick and vagina puns you can handle.

You know, why not just forget the pretense and go balls out, so to speak. I want to see headlines like "Bush to Slowly Ease Cox Into Sticky Situation", or "Bush Excited as Cox Invites Stiff Opposition in the Senate", or "Hard-liner Cox Rubbed Raw by Bush's Soft Positions", or perhaps "Climax Comes Early as Cox Inserts Himself into Bush's New Cabinet Ahead of Schedule".

What a gold mine for the press. You would think they have had enough after the unmasking of Deep Throat. Hm, maybe not: "Bush Anxious to Learn More of Deep Throat".
More at Mediaocrity.

絵合 Picture Contest

There's a contest going over on flickr to see who has the best photo that fits a theme, and the winner gets a free pro account that's worth $30. One of the themes I'm competing in is "Emergence". "Emergence" is a phenomenon where simple rules, interaction, patterns, etc. create complex systems. There is a group on flickr that is dedicated to photos that show this phenomenon and then explain the underlying principles that lead to the emergent behavior. Anyway, my photo entry into the competition has to do with the complex nature of bubbles and foam that arises from simple interactions. This photo is of a watery foam suspended in the air while a droplet of water forms at the bottom, ready to fall.



This photo is just part one of a set of bubble photos I took. Here are the rest:



Here is the emergent nature of bubbles and foam in a more detailed explanation:

The mysterious nature of bubbles and foam is an example of emergence on both molecular and macroscopic levels.

A typical bubble is formed by simple interactions between soap and water molecules that organize themselves to produce a spherical shape governed by the rules of minimal surfaces (note: a sphere is not actually a mathematically defined minimal surface because it does not have zero mean curvature. What I mean to say is that a sphere provides a maximum volume with a minimum surface area).

A soap molecule has a long structure that is composed of a polar, hydrophillic head and a non-polar, hydrophobic tail. When a soap and water bubble forms, the heads of the soap molecules are attracted to water and stay submerged in it. The tails of the soap molecules are repelled by the water and stick out into the air both inside and outside the bubble providing both structural stability and protection from evaporation. These simple interactions by soap and water on the microscopic level form what we see as a bubble in the macroscopic world. The tendency for nature to maximize the volume to surface area ratio produces a bubble's shape.

Millions of simple water molecules and complex soap molecules interact to form a simple sphere known as a bubble. When multiplied many times over, thousands of simple bubbles interact with each other to form a complex structure known as foam. Understanding how bubbles in foam arrange themselves in the most efficient packing order is a difficult and well documented problem. The concept of minimal surfaces arises again, but even the introduction of just one bubble (to make an interaction of two bubbles) complicates the situation many times over and is a striking example of Plateau's Problem. To put it simply, nature's most efficient packing structure emerges when the walls of the bubbles contact each other at 120 degree angles. To visualize this in two dimensions, imagine just one layer of bubbles side by side, and you will see a hexagonal pattern emerge. This is the same pattern that bees use in their honeycomb designs as it creates the strongest and largest cell using the least amount of wax and energy, stacked together in the most space-efficient design.

See the whole set of bubbly emergent pictures here: www.flickr.com/photos/rentahamster/sets/411459/

FFXIのポストをアップデート FFXI Post Update

For anyone who cares, I updated my post on the FFXI event for like the gazillionth time. It's got info on the official Square Enix write up, along with new video, and some new pictures of one of the mithra models when she's not in a Mithra outfit. (And I mean, when she's modeling bikinis, not when she's naked, you pervs).

FFXIイベントのポストをアップデートしました。もう何度もアップデートしてて、疲れてるんだね＾＾　コスプレをしてたミスラのモデルのビキニ写真も追加。

クラフト・コーナー・デスマッチ Craft Corner Deathmatch

Craft or DIE, motherf*cker! This show is awesome.

I know, I know, I have lamented the dawn of the age of the "Xtreme _____" marketing before. Yes, it's ridiculous and full of crap. So is this show. The difference, however, is that the producers of "Craft Corner Deathmatch" are fully aware of this and, in fact, promote the show's inherent sillyness to the "XTREEEEEME!!!!", so to speak. Heh. Sorry.

The premise is simple, two amatuer crafters go head to head in two rounds of crafting to see who can craft the most craftiest craft in a given time liit. At the end of each round, they are judged by a panel of three crafty craft judges and then given a score. The craft contestent with the highest score gets to face off with the dreaded "Craft Lady of Steel", Jocelyn Worrall.

The element that makes this show great, however, and that rockets its stupid factor to insane levels, is the host, Jason Jones. This guy is friggin' hilarious. All throughout the show, this freak is running around doing jump kicks and screaming at the contestents to kill each other with crafts. He taunts them and relays commentary as if he's calling a fight for a hardcore pro-wrestling match. Phrases like "Craft 'till it hurts!" or "Remember, it's cheaper and easier just to buy stuff" really show that this program is a satorical farce that doesn't take itself seriously at all.

The parody is so sweet and intoxicating, I could snort it off a hooker's ass. The assistant, Amber, looks like an apathetic crack-whore. When you look at her profile, it says, Amber loves rainbows and unicorns". GOLD. Even the host's profile can't help poking fun at itself: "Jason is too busy acting to have any hobbies".

New episodes air every Thursday night at 9:00 pm on the Style Network, and there are repeats every now and then at various times. Check your local listings. For those of you in Honolulu who have Oceanic basic cable, Style is channel 65. Unfortunately, not all locations have the Style Network. I'm looking at you, Seattle (unless you have digital cable).

For other thoughts on the show, check out The Eye of Fitsights, I Shall Try Not to Fear the Telephone, news-journal online, TeeVee.org, and TheSimon.com.

せグウェイ・ポロ Segway Polo

Here's a sport that athletically-challenged dorks can all rally behind: Segway Polo. I guess that it's the same as regular polo, but you substitute really expensive horses for really expensive Segways.

Is the Segway to the modern nerd like the Clydesdale was to the medieval knight? Stick a geek on a Segway, give him a +1 toy lightsaber, and he'd be unstoppable.

(via Christine, who seems to feel a little bad for calling those guys nerds. Well, I would too, but that's because I don't necessarily percieve "nerd" to be an insult. I like being called a nerd!; photo by JeffHartley)

Segwayでポロをやったことありますか？馬の代わりにSegwayを使って、すごい楽しそうじゃない？やってみないな。。。だって、Segwayって、チョウ高いから無理かな。（＾＾；）

UPDATE: Hmm, it seems that Segway polo has already been around for a while. Want in on the action? Join these guys.

カーニバル・オブ・ザ・ゲーマー Carnival of the Gamers

Thanks to buttonmashing.com, we now have our first ever Carnival of the Gamers. It is a collection of video game related posts that were submitted by various bloggers from around the internet. Go there to see what the lastest buzz is about your favorite pastime.

For those of you who don't know, a carnival is a collection of posts that revolve around some central theme. I had been looking for a video game related carnival to participate in ever since I started this blog, but having come up short, I decided to participate in the Carnival of the Vanities, a carnival with a general-interest theme.

Ever since then, I was thinking about starting a Carnival of the Gamers myself, but I had doubts because my site was (and still is) quite unknown. Oh well, too late now.

buttonmashing.comのおかげで最初の「カーニバル・オブ・ザ・ゲーマー」が始まりました。「カーニバル」というのは、あるテーマについてポストの集です。「カーニバル・オブ・ザ・ゲーマー」は情報とかゴシップとか色んなゲームに関係あることです。

エピソードIIIを待ち Waiting For Episode III

Well, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith is out, and the circle of George Lucas' grand mythical saga is complete. The Star Wars franchise holds a special place in many people's hearts, and as such has the potential to bring all kinds of geeks out of the woodwork for this once-in-a-lifetime event. As you all know, the premiere of Episode III was Thursday, May 19, but there were people camping out in front of Dole Cannery theater much earlier than that.

I decided to seek out my felllow geeks and see just how many people were camping, as well as what they were doing to bide the time. I arrived at the scene at around 11:30 pm, around 24 hours before the midnight premiere of the movie.

Earlier, I had passed by Ward theater and didn't see anyone camping out in front of the theater. For those of you who don't know, Ward theater is the most recently constructed theater in Oahu, and it is one of the nicest (and most expensive) on the island. Dole Cannery theater is the second newest theater, and also boasts an exceptional movie experience. Ward theater is in an area that is next to Ala Moana, and as such, it is surrounded by many trendy shopping areas, restaurants, and clubs. Dole Cannery, however, is closer to downtown and Chinatown, and the area immediately surrounding the theater is limited to industrial, ghetto, trash.

Now, the question I ask is, with whom would a brave band of geeks rather engage late at night? Well, let's compare the two very different forms of adversaries one might randomly enocunter while in each area.

WARD: As noted earlier, this area has a fairly active night life, and most of the creatures (whom I shall refer to as "Wardians") wandering around late in the evening are probably on some kind of arcane ritual known as a "date". This "date" is both frightening and intimidating to geeks. The Wardians' appearance is enhanced with fashionable clothes. They have finely groomed hair and a pleasant odor. In addition, the Wardians are usually accompanied by a kind of pet known as a "girl". Fearsome entities, a "girl" feeds off of "money" and "compliments" and appears to gain power like a leech by sucking the very life-force of its Waridan master. It has been well-documented that "girls" who have formed an extremely parasitic bond with their Wardian host eventually siphon off most of his life-energy, leaving a cold, hollow husk of a man who somehow has an affinity for shoe shopping and flower arrangement. It is unknown whether this pet is magically summoned or captured in the wild, but it is certain that they must emanate some kind of debilitating aura, as a geek's ability to speak and function properly is heavily diminished when in the presence of these frightening beings.

DOLE: The fauna surrounding Dole Cannery is quite scary indeed. They consist of bums, hobos, prostitutes, and various transients, roaming the streets for souls to eat. Many of the dangers these Doleians present are biological and chemical in nature for they have powerful passive attributes such as "herpes", "syphillis", and "crack-head". Unlike the Wardians, Doleians emanate a foul stech that could potentially slay even the most steadfast warrior.

Of course, the answer is simple. The geeks are much better equiped to battle the Doleians if need be. If bum rushed by a hoard of hobos, the geeks could quickly dispatch them with their +1 toy lightsabers and Red Bull powerups. The flashing colors and stange buzzing sounds are a great deterrent for tranny whores looking to steal something to pawn for crystal meth cash. However, these powerful weapons are no match for the cool and popular denizens of Ward. While it is true that the +1 toy lightsaber does give a 25% bonus to attack and +7 to evade, it also has a whopping -100 to self esteem, -75 to sex appeal, and an amazing -99% chance of being prom king. Accordingly, even though other legendary equipment sets like the Darth Vader Helmet of Cruelty plus the matching Stained Darth Vader Underwear of Purity may have resistences to attacks such as "bad breath" and "druken hobo scream", they are quite weak to the special attacks "noogie" and "atomic wedgie". Thus, the ultimate weakness of the "geek" job class is observed: humiliation by one's peers.

I also made a short clip documenting the Star Wars geeks as they roamed among their makeshift camp. You can see it here: www.ourmedia.org If you click on that link, the video will stream while embedded in your browser. If that method is fairly choppy and unwatchable, you are probably better off saving the video directly to your hard drive by accessing the direct link.
Direct link here (right-click, save as)

まだ生きてるよ I'm Still Alive

Hello everyone, sorry I've been MIA for so long. There were a few things I had to take care of, but now I'm free to post a bunch of stuff that I've been wanting to post for a while now.

只今＾＾；
長い間、ポストしなくてごっめん。色々用があって、ポストする時間はあまりなかったんです。